AWG Self-Esteem Readings

Acknowledging outside influences... when I'd really rather not

Sunday, June 7, 2026

Admitting to ANY outside influences feels uncomfortable to me. How do I investigate them while still respecting myself?

From an anonymous contributor

Step 6 asks us to "Investigate the ways in which our current sense of self is/has been informed by outside influences." Easy to say… but the truth is, admitting to ANY outside influences feels uncomfortable to me. I especially feel resistance to acknowledging negative external influences on my self-esteem. Why should I give those people and things any more space in my life if they don't deserve it?

Some influences, like the trauma-related ones, I just want to leave behind. But just leaving stuff behind is also not something I am good at. So my challenge now is, how do I investigate outside influences while still respecting myself, and without giving undue power back to the influences that pushed me in the wrong directions?

Share questions:

  • Do you ever feel discomfort while thinking about or sharing on outside influences on your sense of self/self-esteem? Do you ever feel you are "admitting" to outside influences, as though being influenced by anything was inherently bad? 
  • Are any outside influences on your sense of self/self-esteem ones that other people might think of as positive, but to you feel negative? What about the other way around? Might any autistic traits play a role in your perceptions of outside influences? (PDA, black and white thinking, lack of spoons, social differences, executive function differences, other?)
  • Is it difficult for you to leave influences, or certain influences, behind, regardless of whether or not the are healthy for you? Might any autistic traits make it hard to leave influences behind  (dislike of change, perfectionism, lack of spoons, other?)
  • What helps you acknowledge and accept outside influences on your sense of self and self-esteem while still respecting yourself? What helps you acknowledge influences you feel to be negative, without giving them an unmanageable amount of space in your life?
  • Any tools, resources, or strategies to share?
  • Anything else to add?

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