AWG Self-Esteem Readings
Endless resources? Only in my dreams
Must my imagination always be the enemy of my manageability?
From an anonymous contributor
The word "manageable" is one of the most helpful ideas in the 12 Steps. Before identification, everything was unmanageable in my adult life. I never understood that, and to be honest, I still have trouble understanding. My brain does not think that way. In my brain, resources like time and space are more or less endless. They just need to be arranged.
I remember being really struck by the “Container Concept” I was introduced to in the podcast “A slob comes clean” by Dana K White (recommended by a member in an AWG meeting). The container concept basically says: “Find out how much space in your house you want to dedicate to towels. One drawer? Great, you can't have more than one drawer of towels.”
My brain always tried it the other way around. I feel like I should be able to find a spot in my "house"/life for everything I have or want. I have the same problem with intangible things like with projects or even friendships.
Sometimes, when things become extra-unmanageable, I find out I have to give something away, or give it up. It's always a surprise, and always painful, because I have limitless capacity in my own mind. Must my imagination always be the enemy of my manageability?
Share questions:
- Do you ever feel a conflict between your conception of how things should be, and how they are? Do you ever feel that kind of conflict in regards to your self-concept? (That you should be a certain way, be capable of certain things, that you're currently not?) What is it like?
- Are some things in your life easier or harder to apply the "Container Concept" to than others? Why might that be?
- Do any of the concepts discussed in this reading intersect with other autistic traits? Black and white thinking, perfectionism, other?
- Did you think about the concepts in this reading before learning about autism? How did you understand them then?
- Have you ever found an outlet for the "extra" that your mind conceives (contrasted with what you are/can manageably do)? For example, telling stories about what you imagine/want? Something else?
- Any tools, resources, or strategies to share?
- Anything else to add?
