Limerence can be a mixed blessing for me when it comes to self-esteem. The feeling itself is ecstatic, so in a way it makes me feel better about myself: I'm less in pain and less overwhelmed, so it's easier to like myself. Having an object of focus helps me with things I normally have trouble with, like hierarchizing information and having a strong sense of priorities. Most of all, my focus isn't on myself, which keeps me from having bad feeling about myself.

On the other hand, when I look at it objectively, I like how limerence makes me feel, but not always the way I act. I've violated people's boundaries in the past, which I now regret. Limerence can also lead me to neglect existing commitments, like school, work, and relationships, even romantic relationships. Limerence makes me feel validated, but then I go too far in seeking that sense of validation, like an addiction. It's not sustainable.

One of the biggest effects of limerence on my sense of self and self-esteem is the lack of control I have over it. I don't know when it will pop up, and I can't always escape it. Perhaps ironically, the best way for me to get out of it is to imagine the object of my limerence saying mean things to me and generally disliking/being grossed out by me. That's not great for my self-esteem, but it also does help me to feel like I'm doing the right thing and have more control over my life, which is good for my self-esteem.

How about you? What is the relationship between limerence and self-esteem in your life?

Share questions:

• When you are limerent, what is your sense of self like? How about your self-esteem? 
• Is there a difference in impact between the feeling of limerence, and how you intellectually consider your behavior and mindset while limerent? 
• Have you ever regretted something you did while limerent? How does it affect your sense of self and self-esteem today? 
• Does limerence help your self-esteem in any way? 
• Any tools, resources, or strategies to share? 
• Anything else to add?