Trigger warning: Body dysmorphia

If I had to tell you I'm a Millennial without telling you I'm a Millennial, I could do it in two words:

Bare midriff.

The craze for low-rise jeans and crop tops started when I was about 10, just hitting puberty. With the style trends and my physical changes, there was suddenly no place for me in clothing stores, changing rooms, or anywhere people could see me (or so I felt at the time). My curvy torso, apple body shape, and healthy weight just felt wrong.

The social demands time period really did a number on my mental health. My torso is the most central part of my body. It faces towards anyone I'm interacting with. There's no way I can hide it or change how it looks. And with a lack of spoons and no internet yet, I wasn't able to do the research to "dress for my body" as I was urged to. Today, I know there was no need to change or "dress for my body" to be worthy as a person, but my younger, pre-identification self felt irresistibly pressured.

The body positivity movement has done a lot to help me embrace my shape, changing my life for the better. So has learning I am autistic. This meeting encourages me to think about self-care and my values, both of which help me in my relationship with my body overall. My self-concept has been able to evolve see my body as an expression of positive things like self-care and my values, countering negative messages from the media and triggering memories fro my past.

Finding a new social context with other individuals and groups has helped, too. I now have autistic friends who aren't overly fussed about clothes or evaluating me based on how I dress. One of my friends has clothes as a special interest, and yet they see me as me, the whole picture instead of sub-aspects like my wardrobe or on my shape. I feel more relaxed and able to be myself.

I still have stress around the shape of my torso and shopping, for example, around special events like weddings. But my new awareness of myself and my self-concept means that my shape, weight, and wardrobe, and how they happen to show up at that one event, are no longer life-defining in the way they used to. My relationship with my torso is still not perfect, but it's much more manageable.

Share questions:

• What is your present relationship with your torso, and how does it fit into your self-esteem and sense of self? 
• Have your thoughts and feelings about your torso changed over time? 
• If your thoughts and feelings have changed, why have they changed? Was it due to outside influences, like the body positivity movement? Interactions with other individuals and groups, like finding affirmative friends? Self-care, like evolving your self-concept so body image is only one part of it? Other?
  
• If your thoughts and feelings haven't changed, please describe what that is like. How are your self-esteem and self-image affected, and how does that influence your experiences in daily life?
• This reading focused on body image and the torso. Do you have other thoughts and feelings about your torso outside of that topic? Please describe.
  
• Has learning about autism affected your relationship with your torso at all?
• Any tools, resources, or strategies to share? 
• Anything else to add?