Step 8 asks me to examine the concept of personal values. When I cross that with the concept of overwhelm, it shows me some of my unresolved issues. For example, I was raised to value productivity, fitting in, pushing past my comfort zone, and not "making excuses". When I'm overwhelmed, my state of being is in direct conflict with all four of those things.

Several years post-identification, I can see the ableist side of each of those four "values". But I genuinely do still value them. When I'm not overwhelmed and can live them, they bring me a sense of fulfillment and pleasure. When I'm overwhelmed and "can't" live them, I find myself acting in ways that violate other values: secrecy, lying, self-hating, blaming others, and more. That hurts my self-esteem. So how can I resolve the conflict between those values and who I am when in a state of overwhelm?

One thing that has helped is to recontextualize those values in a non-ableist way. For example, when I'm overwhelmed, I can be productive… in helping myself to recover. I can fit in… with so many other late-identified autistic people from my group, whose experiences of overwhelm I identify with so much, and who I know identify with mine. I can push past my comfort zone… of ableist thinking, to a place where I can accept myself. I can "not make excuses"… excuses to ignore myself or give in to ableism.

How about you? How do your values intersect with your experiences of overwhelm?

Share questions:

• Does being in a state of overwhelm ever make you feel like you are in conflict with your own values? Please describe. 
• Do you ever feel like acting on your values is what led to you being in a state of overwhelm? Can you share an example, either real or hypothetical? 
• Do you ever blame yourself for having values you find ableist? What is it like? 
• How do you cope with feeling like you're in conflict with your own values when you're overwhelmed? 
• Do you have any special values you can live ONLY during times when you're overwhelmed?      
  
• Any tools, resources, or strategies to share?
• Anything else to add?