One of the reasons overwhelm can be scary is that when it happens, it feels like it is changing my relationships. Step 9 looks at my relationships with myself, other individuals, and groups. When I'm overwhelmed, my relationship to each one is different from when I'm not overwhelmed.

One of the reasons overwhelm can be scary is that when it happens, it feels like it is changing my relationships. Step 9 looks at my relationships with myself, other individuals, and groups. When I'm overwhelmed, my relationship to each one is different from when I'm not overwhelmed.

My relationship with myself changes when I'm overwhelmed. I feel I can't get myself to do what I need to do, and that leads to a lack of trust for myself. I might feel angry at myself or hopeless with myself. Those feelings can linger when I'm no longer overwhelmed.

My relationship with other individuals feels like it changes when I'm overwhelmed. I can't relate to them and I want to keep my overwhelm a secret. Sometimes I question whether I am a worthwhile person for them to know. It creates a sense of distance between me and other individuals.

My relationship with groups feels like it changes when I'm overwhelmed: my family, school, workplace, and friends. When I'm overwhelmed, it's hard to feel like I'm part of any group. I'm not performing the role I usually do, or think I ought to do. I isolate myself while they might be doing other things together. I worry about losing my place in the group because of my overwhelm. Sometimes I decide not to join groups because I fear what will happen when I get overwhelmed.

The sense of separation can be really profound, and to be honest, I have no idea what to do. At least in my Step 9 work I can acknowledge what a deep impact overwhelm has, and has had, on my relationships with myself, other individuals, and groups.

Share questions:

• How does overwhelm interact with your relationship with yourself? With other individuals? With groups? 
• Do you ever find yourself holding back from engaging more deeply with any of the three while overwhelmed, or even out of fear of becoming overwhelmed? 
• Does overwhelm create any conditions in your life that make it harder to feel honest in your relationships? 
• Has the experience of overwhelm ever actually improved a relationship of yours? For example, with another autistic person or group? With yourself? 
• How do you cope with overwhelm in your relationships?
• Any tools, strategies, or resources to share?
• Anything else to add?