A part of my self-esteem is connected to what's happening in the world around me. Some of my autistic traits seem to increase that connection: justice sensitivity, holotropism, black and white thinking, perfectionism, aversion to change, hyper-empathy, and more. When current events are positive, that can be pleasurable. But when current events are negative, my sense of self and self-esteem can start to change in a way that's not manageable.

I find that it can be hard to look closely at my own sense of self and self-esteem during negative current events. Why is that? Do I feel guilt because my self-esteem shouldn't matter in light of what's going on in the world? Do I not want to look because I don't like changes, inside or outside? Do I worry that if I look at my self-esteem right now, I'll be motivated to take actions that could end up being unmanageable? Do I fear that looking at the part of me that is connected with current events might let those events start to sweep me away? Do I feel responsible in some way for the current events that are happening?

Share questions:

• How do current events impact your sense of self? Self-esteem? It's okay to answer this question generally or reference to specific recent events. 
• Do you feel any inner resistance in looking at the part of your self-esteem or sense of self connected to current events? Guilt because personal self-esteem "shouldn't matter" in light of what's going on in the world? Not liking changes, inside or outside? Fear of being motivated to take actions that could end up being unmanageable? Worry that investigation of sense of self might let current events sweep you away? Feeling responsible in some way for the current events that are happening? Blaming yourself for being part of the system in which the events in question happened, or are happening? Other? Please describe.
  
• Where might those feelings be coming from?
  
• If you don't have inner resistance to looking at the part of your sense of self connected to current events, what is it like? How are you able to do it? 
• Any tools, resources, or strategies that helped you? 
• Anything else to add?