From an anonymous contributor
Step 6 asks us to
"Investigate the ways in which our current sense of self is/has been
informed by outside influences." Easy to say… but the truth is, admitting
to ANY outside influences feels uncomfortable to me. I especially feel
resistance to acknowledging negative external influences on my self-esteem. Why
should I give those people and things any more space in my life if they don't
deserve it?
Some influences, like
the trauma-related ones, I just want to leave behind. But just leaving stuff
behind is also not something I am good at. So my challenge now is, how do I
investigate outside influences while still respecting myself, and without giving
undue power back to the influences that pushed me in the wrong directions?
Share questions:
- Do you ever feel
discomfort while thinking about or sharing on outside influences on your sense
of self/self-esteem? Do you ever feel you are "admitting" to outside
influences, as though being influenced by anything was inherently bad?
- Are any
outside influences on your sense of self/self-esteem ones that other people
might think of as positive, but to you feel negative? What about the other way around? Might any autistic traits play a role in your perceptions of outside influences? (PDA, black and white thinking, lack of spoons, social differences, executive function differences, other?)
- Is it difficult
for you to leave influences, or certain influences, behind, regardless of
whether or not the are healthy for you? Might any autistic traits make it hard to leave influences
behind (dislike of change, perfectionism, lack of spoons, other?)
- What helps you acknowledge and accept outside influences on your sense of self and self-esteem while still respecting yourself? What helps you acknowledge influences you feel to be negative, without giving them an unmanageable amount of space in your life?
- Any tools, resources, or strategies to share?
- Anything else to add?
