So much of my life has been, and is, characterized by suffering. There's overwhelm and overstimulation. Hyper-awareness of contradictions, unfairnesses, and hypocrisies. The compulsion to ruminate. Loneliness, missed connections, misunderstanding, and being misunderstood. The list goes on. I feel a swell of self-esteem when I consider how much pain I've already survived and how my efforts to learn about autism continue to make my pain not gone, but more manageable. I feel awkward about sharing that part of my self-esteem with others, though. People tend to go quiet, transition to a new topic, tell me I'm not suffering as much as certain other people are, or try to reassure me that I'm a great person and so much better than that. Than what? This is this real history of my life we're talking about. Has anyone else had this experience of someone trying to erase their suffering?

Share questions:

• Does living through and managing suffering have any relationship to your self concept or self-esteem? Please describe. 
• Do you ever feel like  you can't express your whole self because it's not socially permissible to talk about suffering? 
• Have you ever experienced negative social consequences for trying to talk about your own suffering? 
• Is discussing suffering taboo in society generally? If so, do you have any theories on why that might be? 
• Do you ever seek alternatives for simply holding back your suffering from others? For example, openly discussing the taboo in order to push back on it, or contextualizing the topic of your suffering in a different way? Other?
• Any tools, strategies, or resources that helped you? 
• Anything else to add?