Overwhelm adds
unmanageability at every level of my life. The AWG 12 Steps have been helping
me to unpack that. Step 7 has been helping me to consider how overwhelm adds
unmanageability to my sense of my own needs and my ability to self-care.
As a
late-identified autistic person, I'm still coming to understand what my real
needs are after years of pre-identification confusion. Now I'm realizing that
one of the reasons it's been hard for me to identify my needs is that they can
be so different on days when I'm overwhelmed than on days when I'm not
overwhelmed. Not only that, but on days when I've overwhelmed, I can also lack
the capacity to assess what my needs are or how they might be different from
other days. That layer of unpredictability is consistently in my life, adding unmanageability
and acting as a barrier from feeling like I know my whole self.
Recovery from
pre-identification has also meant searching for the best self-care practices
for me. I've managed to put together some self-care strategies that really help.
But on days when I'm overwhelmed, my self-care needs change drastically. I'm also
less able to assess what they are or take the steps to put them into action.
That unmanageability makes it hard to feel like I'm in control of what's happening
to me, which impacts my sense of self and self-esteem.
AWG Promise #9 has
helped prevent me getting too despondent over my feeling of lack of control
while overwhelmed. At those times, I try to remember that "I am a
substantial and real human, and that my needs and sense of self have a dignity
that is important for its own sake. That includes even on my lowest, most
painful days". Maybe one of my acts of self-care is to accept when my system
is too overwhelmed to do anything at all, and to recommit to loving myself. But
I'd like to learn more about how overwhelm can bring unmanageability to people's
sense of their own needs and ability to self-care. What does this look like in
your life?
Share questions:
- Does
sensory overwhelm impact what your needs are? Please describe.
- When
overwhelmed, does anything happen to your ability to assess what your needs are
in the moment? Does anything happen to your ability to self-care?
- Does the unmanageability
brought by overwhelm make it harder to identify and express your needs to
others? To get help?
- If you've gone through a period of time when your ability
to assess your needs or self-care has been reduced, did it do anything to your
self-image? Self-esteem? Were there any lasting effects over time?
- How do you cope with not knowing what your needs are in the moment? With not being able to self-care in the moment? How do you cope physically? Mentally?
- Any tools,
resources, or strategies that helped you with questions like these?
- Anything else to add?
