While investigating the idea of ableism, I've realized that I still tend to separate my needs from my sense of self. It feels like "I" am whatever aspects of me help me to perform in the world of ableism, while the aspects of me that need accommodations and understanding are something else. I thought I left this division behind when I stopped masking as much, but no. I might outwardly behave as though I accepted my needs as part of my identity, but when I look closer, I feel almost as though the accommodations I make for myself are really for someone else. Like I'm my own child, a child I somehow still feel like I have to apologize for. I hope that someday I can feel that my needs are part of my wholeness. It might help to hear where each of you are on your own journeys with this.

Share questions:

• Does it feel like your needs are an integrated part of your sense of self, or do they feel separate? Please describe. 
• Has it always been that way? If the way you see your needs changed at some point, when and how? 
• Have any strategies helped you to feel at one with your needs? Self-talk, or maybe something else?
  
• Have any writers or other cultural influences helped you to feel more united with your needs?
  
• Are there ableist dimensions to how you think about your own needs? What are they? 
• If you could magically have yourself feel any way about your own needs, what would it be? 
• Any tools, strategies, or resources that helped you? 
• Anything else to add?