Because my sense of self is still emerging, I used to worry that it was impossible for me to have self-esteem. I thought, "How can I love and respect myself if I don't know who I am?"

One thing that helped me was thinking about the differences between sense of self and self-esteem.

For me, sense of self has to do with questions like:

• What are my needs? 
• What things are healthy and unhealthy for me? 
• What are my likes and dislikes? 
• What is the best way to take care of myself? 
• What are my values? 
• What is the most sustainable way for me to interact with individuals and groups?   
• What are the most natural-feeling ways to show and receive love? 
• What is my gender? 
• What is my style? 
• What can I tolerate from others, and what can I not? 
• What is my relationship with my conscience?

Meanwhile, self-esteem, to me, has to do with questions like:

• Do I respect myself? 
• Do I believe I have an intrinsic worth as a human being, the same worth others have? 
• Do I stand up for myself when necessary? 
• Do I feel able to have equal relationships with others, neither controlling nor being controlled?

Thinking about the differences has led me to some realizations:

• I don't need to know who I am in order to know that I have fundamental worth as a human being. 
• While sense of self is something that emerges with time and experience, the right to self-esteem is mine from birth. 
• My sense of self might change over the years. However, it's possible for self-esteem to remain consistent through every change, internal and external. 
• My belief in my fundamental right to live, whoever I might be, can keep me grounded as I seek my sense of self.

For me, my sense of self remains a variable "x" for the time being. 

Share questions:

• What, to you, is the relationship between sense of self and self-esteem? Are they the same thing? Different? Please describe. 
• Have you ever worried that self-esteem is not possible without a strong sense of self? 
• Have you ever worried that self-love is not possible without a strong sense of self? 
• Members still seeking a strong sense of self, is it possible to imagine self-esteem in the here and now? 
• How might that self-esteem manifest itself, for example, through self-care practices, seeking your values, or in relationships with other individuals/groups? 
• Any tools, resources, or strategies to share? 
• Anything else to add?